My weekend this week was not dat great actually... full of da downs... first of all... Qisha was down with fever... and the fever was so high... i really pity her... everyone was telling me she misses her daddy... and i think so too... she cudn't sleep on Saturday nite as her fever was high thru out the nite... as a result.... i cudn't sleep too...
She meracau & mengigau... and everytime she mengigau... there's always the word 'Daddy' in it... hmmm... didn't noe the impact can be quite great on her... mebbe she's too small to be able to express dat she misses her daddy... dat's why da fever... coz she can't express the feeling and the only way of expressing is da fever.... oh well... i donno lah... she's close to the daddy... anyway... her whole life from da day she's born... she's always very close to her mummy & daddy... we're always around her all da time... so mebbe when one is not around... she feels lost... furthermore with the pindah here and pindah there from Hougang to Bedok and vice versa.... it muz have been too tiring for her... its tiring for me too... but wat can i do... i can juz be patient and tolerate it... i wish i can stay home... who wouldn't like being at home... but if i stay at home they'll be soo much money wasted on taxi fares... which we can't afford to.... and anyway its not everytime that Babey's on overseas trip... this is his first actually... hmmm... there's this one incident which really makes my eyes water... i was playing with Qisha at mummy's house.... We are kinda playing finger games with her fingers....
Qisha: (pointing to her fingers starting from the lil finger to the thumb)
This is Qisha, this is Mummy, this is Nenek, this is Atuk and this is Daddy...
(meaning the thumb is da Daddy)
ME: wahhhhh.... elo everybody...
(waving to her fingers)
Qisha: Uwwahhhhh (making crying noises while wriggling her lil finger)
ME: Eh... Y is Qisha (referring to Qisha da lil finger) crying ?
Qisha: Bcoz she want her daddy love her....
ME: ??? (lost for words)
Then she put her thumb and lil finger together as if can't be separated and sed "Yeay... now okay oredi..."
Aiyahhhh... kids... they are so innocent... her lil drama dat she played with her fingers was so heart-wrenching for me... can see she really misses her daddy... Takpelah k darling... just 3 more days left... and life will be back to normal... Insyallah...
Juz be good for Mummy k... and drink ur meds pleease.... its so hard to make her drink and swallow her meds now... she will purposely throw it all out back...
Really lost my patience... mebbe bcoz i was too stressed up myself... too tired myself... till i quarrelled with her .... i didn't mean to... nor do i want it to happen... i shouldn't compare in da first place... i myself hate to be compared.... and there i was comparing... im so sori... like i say... i was too stressed up... i tried to appear cheerful & strong in front of everyone... but in da inside... does anyone noes.... no one will noe... only me, myself & i noes... and GOD also of coz...
i hate quarrels... esepecially with da ones you love... but sometimes words can be sooo sharp till it pierces thru the heart... and when someone's angry... someone will tend to juz shoot their mouths out... i tried to calm myself and not to fight back... but da words can be sooo hurtful till i have to say something back...
To her ... im so sori... only God noes how sorry i am... please forgive me...
To my lil princess... i love u very much... get well soon and pleeaasseee be a good girl alwiz...
To my hubby... i miss u so much and thanks for listening to my woes yesterday on da fon.. u've alwiz been there for me... thanks Babey....
Hmmm... nevermind... i like to look on da bright side of things all da time... its juz a few days away... and everything will be back to normal...Everything'll be over soon... Insyallah...
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